“Narrative psychology” is a fancy term for something that all of us do. We all think about the “story of our lives.” We gather at family reunions and tell stories about growing up; we sit together with friends and talk about times gone by; we laugh at dinner tables with our children remembering what it was like when all of us were younger. Telling the story of our lives helps us make sense of our lives. It helps us put things in perspective regarding days long past. And it can give us guidance as to where we are heading in the days yet to come.
As people grow older, narrative psychologists have found that people organize their life stories in one of two ways. Some say “It all came to nothing in the end,” while others conclude “It all came together in the end.” The first story arc is called the contamination narrative, while the second is called the redemption narrative.
The recipe for a “contamination narrative” is pretty straightforward. These are stories that leave a bitter taste in one’s mouth. Grievances are re-lived; offenses are unforgiven; regrets are persistent and still irksome. To come to the end of one’s days believing that “nothing came together” is to have lost the ability to feel gratitude, or (for whatever reason) come to believe one lacks all self-worth and value. It is a sad and lonely place in which to find yourself as you approach the final horizon of life.
The “redemption narrative” is also pretty straightforward. It is a recipe that balances out joys with sorrows, that is realistic about human limitations while still holding onto a sense of wonder about what is actually possible in our mortal lives. It is a perspective that places value on laughter, humor (especially of a self-deprecating sort), curiosity and beauty (in all its varied expressions). It may still acknowledge that life contains imperfections and unaccomplished goals, but overall it is a wild, amazing journey, hopefully with loved ones and friends beside us for the ride. Things “come together” in the end when we still can look forward to what tomorrow holds even as we celebrate the gift of today.
My father-in-law is slowing down, now that he’s reached his mid-80s. A few years ago he was asked what he would think if his life came to an end that day. He grew pensive and, choking up a bit, he simply said, “I’d think how blessed I’ve been.”
The gospel of Jesus Christ is clearly a redemption narrative. It reminds us that all of life is held in the embrace of a loving God and, yes, things do come together in the end. There are resurrection miracles every day that help us hold on to the wonder inherent in the gift of life, even as the big “resurrection miracle” of Easter reassures us of a final “resurrection miracle” at the close of the ages. That good news lovingly seeks to counter the “contamination narrative” of more worldly storytellers. So as you think about your own “narrative psychology,” may you find a God-blessed awareness in your own story that concludes with a basic affirmation of faith that says, “Yes, how blessed I’ve been.”
—Randy Bush