How “open” a person are you? By that I mean, what topics are you comfortable talking about with others? The answer to that question depends on the person to whom you’re speaking. If you are talking to your best friend, you will likely share more information than what you’re comfortable discussing with someone at the bus stop. That is understandable, but considering this scenario in a bit more detail can be a healthy spiritual discipline.
Picture yourself seated next to someone who smiles and starts up a conversation about what great weather we’ve been having lately. What topics are you comfortable bringing up in response? Would you talk about your job, family, and health? Would you talk about how expensive gas is; how taking the bus is a good option for people worried about climate change? Would you talk about the mayor, school superintendent, or the president? (Here’s the hard one.) Would you bring up the subject of prayer, of where you go to church, or what gives you spiritual strength during hard times?
Where would you draw the line in terms of possible conversation topics? Then ask yourself “why.” Maybe you are a private person, uncomfortable in situations of TMI—“too much information.” Maybe you are afraid of offending someone else and so you avoid controversial topics. That’s all perfectly understandable; but sometimes we need to speak up and “step over the line” in conversations—because that is what it means to be a person of faith.
We often evaluate conversations in terms of “social niceties.” These etiquette rules guide us as we consider which topics are appropriate to mention and how much information it is proper to share with strangers. But sometimes we are called to engage with others as “people of faith.” First, from this perspective, we see others, not as strangers, but as peers and companions on a shared journey in life. Second, we are willing to initiate appropriate social interactions—whether that is just a smile or wishing someone “good morning” and taking the time to ask how their day is going. Something as simple as that can help another person feel affirmed, less alone and isolated in this busy world.
Third, it is worth noting that the biggest factor shaping which things we like is whether our friends also like them. (Studies have shown that this extends to friends of friends of friends—that we are influenced by “three degrees of separation.”) If a friend notes that she likes a certain bank, a new ice cream store or TV show, we are much more prone to stop by, purchase, or watch that same thing. Now imagine if our conversations with others named that we enjoy being part of a church, acknowledged that we hope for a more just world, and included prayer as one way we choose to respond to people in need. Those intentional spiritual references can open the way for deeper conversations between two people. It can easily tip the balance on whether a person visits our church or begins to think in a fresh way about God and faith.
As a minister, I have lots of random “faith conversations” with people I meet once they learn what I do for a living. But people expect me to talk about God. However, every one of you can have a much greater impact than me if God, church, or faith works its way into your conversations. Don’t hide your light under a bushel! Open up and see how the love of Christ can change your conversations today!
—Randy Bush